The Language Barrier

I was reared by a genteel woman, a lady. A Southern lady. There were certain words which were never used in our home. For example, one never used the term (and it makes me cringe to write it here) "pee." When in public, one did not announce that one needed to go to the restroom, but rather that one needed to be excused. You can understand why my son was a little concerned about my moving to New York where the "F" word flies around like bullets during deer season. And oh does it fly, from Fulton Street to Wall Street, from the school hallways to the faculty lounge, if you are in Manhattan you will hear New Yorkers describing everything, good bad or indifferent as "F..n" Now I must admit that it took months before my heart ceased to race and the fight or flight response ceased to kick in upon hearing the term. Gradually, I began to realize, that the word did not have the same meaning to New Yorkers as it does to me, and I suspect most native East Texas ladies. And gradually, it has insidiously begun to present itself in my mind (though never from my lips) when I am considering how to describe some new event or site in the city. The first time it happened my son and I were watching a television crime drama and the police car from the show, stopped in front of Regal Row in Washington Square (that's in Greenwich Village). My son looked at me and said, "Mom, we live in New "F...n" York. And I smiled and agreed with him. The next time it happened I was walking across the street and looked down Fifth Avenue and said to myself, "That is the Empire "F...n" State Building." Oh my mother rolled over in her grave, but I must admit, it was an apt description. I do reserve the term for moments of extreme awe, such as when I was riding the F train to Park Slope where it goes above ground and I looked out over the East River and there was the Statue of "F...n" Liberty." And I said to my mother, who is always with me in spirit, "Oh moma, if you were here, you would find yourself at a loss for words and who knows if you might use the "f...n, "F" word yourself." I have yet to actually say the word and probably never will as should I do so, Daddy would probably rise up out of his grave tell me to "F...n" stop rousing moma so he could rest in peace.